Monday, May 3, 2010

Positive punishment, negative reinforcement? I could never keep the two straight

In an attempt to punish a classmate for not adequately preparing for a diagnostic, my supervisor pulled her from the diagnostic this morning, 10 minutes before we were set to begin. This left me alone to complete a 3 hour diagnostic and write up 2 diagnostic reports regarding the findings while the unprepared clinician got to observe the diagnostic.

BOY, my supervisor sure showed her!

Err...

Sunday, May 2, 2010

For now

Ah, finals weekend. It is the weekend of what I like to call "productive procrastination". A weekend whe I find myself so enamored with the(completely delusional) prospect of free time around the corner. When I think to myself, "after this weekend, I will have TIME. I will have people over, I will RELAX". And so, to prepare for this new life that is (never) to come, I clean. I finally get around to my spring cleaning, and I organize. I vacuum more thoroughly than I have done since...well, probably the last round of finals. I prepare to put winter clothes into storage. I pull weeds from my flower beds. It is a metaphor for my semester: I purge myself of the stress and the grime of the semester by enhancing my environment. I want to shop: to put the doom and gloom of last semester behind me and start fresh. I plant more flowers in the flowerbed, hoping to see that same sense of change for a fraction of the cost.

The reality is, after this week, a new week begins. A new class starts. My clients keep on coming. I get another diagnostic report to write up. I start to think about the fact that in a few short weeks, I am starting about 6 new clients, and only losing 2 from my current caseload. I prepare for whirlwind weekends of family visiting, weddings, and family trips.

But right now, I do loads of laundry and clean all the towels in the house. I finish a take-home exam and start a presentation. I open all the windows in the house and let in the fresh air.

And I feel lighter.
Just until the reality of next week sets in.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Somedays, I feel like a puppet...

Graduate school sucks. Fact of life, I suppose, but it does. The program I am in is intensive, relentless, and makes me cry at least once a week. True story.

Here's how it works: right now, I have 3 days a week of classes (10 hours total), 7 clients (so, about 20 hours a week of clinic work), 1 3-hour diagnostic a week, and 10 hours of graduate assistantship work. The summer session (starting in June) is even more intense than normal. Since it is a shorter session, we have all of our classes twice a week. Imagine 12 hours a week for 2 classes, 4 days a week, plus 7-10 clients and the diagnostics. This is why I have anxiety dreams.

So you could imagine that the 5 weeks in May/June in which I was not supposed to have classes was a beacon of light. Neigh, it was a small shred of hope and sanity. It was to be a time when I only saw clients. And at a time when my current semester is ramping up to the point that I am starting to be bogged down by case studies, hypothetical treatment and assessment plans, and finals looming (in addition to 2 treatment plans, 7 treatment reports, and multiple diagnostic evaluations and reports due for REAL people in the clinic), it was really all I had.

Please note the usage of past tense.

Today I was informed that I will now be taking a class during those five weeks that were once my blissful respite. A four-hour a week class that will include weekly reading responses, and a cumulative project. It might not sound like much, but it absolutely crushes my world. It has knocked my tears spillage to twice this week, and it's only Wednesday.

Granted, it was posed to me as an optional seminar. I could elect to take it. Sort of in the same way you could elect to wear clothes in public or have license plates on your car. Sure, it's your choice, but the consequences of not complying are less than pretty.

I will agree. The topic of this seminar is important. I concur that in my professional career, I will encounter people with different cultural and language backgrounds than my own. I understand that I will need to know how to work with an interpreter, translator, or family member that is bilingual. I am excited to have resources at my fingertips in order to determine which assessments are appropriate for translation. On a broader level, I really, truly understand that. But let me tell you, the idea of more case studies, today, right now? My outlook is bleak.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

101 things update

OK, so new year, time to check in on this badboy...


The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days. My end date is: October 30
, 2011

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).


Italics= In progress
Red = Done!

Health, Beauty, and Well Being

  1. Reach healthy weight
    Not going so well, actually. Currently sitting just below where I was when I started the weightloss in the first place. Working on this with gusto in the new year.

  2. Maintain aforementioned healthy weight

  3. Do cardio 3 times a week for half hour each session
    I have been terrible about this, especially since it is now winter. Grad school hasn't helped. Need to figure out how to make this work.

  4. Go to the gym at least twice a week while school is in session
    I haven't been to the gym since I started this list. That can't be good. My program is not on campus, and campus is a 15 minute drive plus fighting for parking. I know it's an excuse, but I often don't have the time with everything going on.

  5. Weight train for 30 minutes at least twice a week while school is in session
    Also fell by the wayside. Hence the need for a goal.

  6. Do Wii Fit every day for a month.
    Made it through 1 week, and got bored. Need more motivation.

  7. Be able to do more than 10 consecutive push ups
    Haven't even tried, but I can't imagine it would be good.

  8. Grow my hair past my shoulders
    I tried this, and got bored with it. Hair looked blah, so I went and got it cut short on a whim at the end of the semester. Technically, it's done, but I don't t
    hink I gave it a fair shake.

  9. Get a haircut that involves making an appointment
    Yea, it's a plan. Maybe over the summer I will get around to it.

  10. Grow my nails long enough to get a manicure
    Stress of grad school has not really helped. Right now, I am currently sitting on presentable nails, but school starts next week, so I don't know that they'll last.

  11. Whiten my teeth
    I am beginning to think I've done nothing on th
    is list. Man.

  12. Research Lasik procedures
    Haven't had time or money to really think about it in earnest.

  13. Know my cholesterol, blood sugar and blood pressure numbers off the top of my head. Get screened at least once a year.
    Recent family events have spurred me to get back to not only knowing these, but making sure they are lower than they probably are right now.

  14. Participate in an organized bike ride
    I want to look into this for Summer 2010.

  15. Keep a food journal for an entire week (0/7)
    Started today. Let's see how it goes..

  16. Buy (and wear) a bikini
    Nope.

  17. Get a tan
    Spent time outside this summer, working, with SPF 45. Being outside definitely felt good, and I would say I was not my pasty norm for at least a few weeks!

  18. Buy a real pair of running shoes.
    I still want to go to a running store and actually get fitted for sneakers the way I should be.

  19. Get at least 3 massages (1/3)
    I have a goal to lose a certain amount of weight. When I get there, I am getting a massage, dagnabit!

    Relationships/ Social

  20. Write to Uncle Frank at least once a month (3/36)
    Those recent family events? They made me realize that I definitely did not do this. And I came very close to regretting that. This goal is a must-change, must-do.
  21. Write to Uncle Don at least once a month (36/36)
    Done. Via email, I check in at least once a week.
  22. Get engaged
    Still done :)
  23. Plan a wedding
    Still have not figured out a date or timezone. There are a lot of reasons for this, but I am not as worried about it as I once was.
  24. Get married
    Again, I am not worried. We have a plan
    to start visiting places this summer to start to get things figured out. For now, I will continue to peruse websites for inns, state parks, lodges, and bread & breakfasts around the country when I don't want to be working on papers, or am sitting in a particularly boring lecture.
  25. Throw Doug a graduation or birthday party
    DONE! Successfully hosted an 11 person brunch for his graduation.
  26. Make 5 new friends in a graduate program
    DONE! There are 5 ladies that I can definitely see myself keeping in touch with after graduation, and whom I can count on when things ha
    ppen.
  27. Plan a visit with college friends within driving distance at least once every other month
    So far, so good, for the most part. I think we've had people out to us at least once every other month, but I've only made it out that way o
    nce or twice in that time.
  28. Have Sandi and Bob over for dinner at least twice (1/2)
    If I double counted with the brunch, I could have crossed this baby off the list, but I feel like that's cheating.
  29. Visit Bob & Pam at least twice (1/2)
    I don't really have a lot of influence about getting invited up there.
  30. Visit a couples counselor for a pre-wedding assessment
    Still haven't gone, but we're pretty sure we know where we are going, which assessments we'll take, and we are both on board. Have we read this from the NYTimes Magazine? Or this from A Practical Wedding? Yea, despite us being together for what will be (I imagine) 7+ years by the time we get married, this is important.
  31. Send birthday cards (via the mail) to 30 friends and family (9/30)
    Huge room for improvement here. Although, I have sent out "happy new house" and other such cards, I think a few more birthday cards are in order.
  32. Send at least six updates to family/friends via email or mail (2/6) Most of my extended family has now joined facebook, so they are pretty up-to-date, because they are pretty aware of when I update. This includes 2AM when I bitch about a paper, and 5AM when I bitch about being up mega early to work on projects.
  33. Host a dinner party
    I have had tons of people over for dinner, but not for a dinner party. I should remedy this, and it should involve invitations.
  34. Visit with Grammy 3 times (1/3)
    This needs to step up as well. We went out to breakfast with her once, but should make more of an effort here.
  35. Take a decent set of pictures with Doug
    This has not been done. Although we have had a few fluked good shots of us, and more that look like this:
    Classy, no?

  36. Learn 4 new games (4/4)
    Chraunonauts
    Small World
    The Nacho Incident
    Tic
    Sweet.

    Travel/ vacation
  37. Plan a vacation that involves a plane or train ticket
    This has stayed on my "after grad school" list. Although maybe this summer if a venue we love is a flight away, we'll make it work.
  38. Visit 4 state parks (1/4)
    Visited Mississippi Palisades this summer.
  39. Go camping at least once
    Finally accomplished, and going again this summer!
  40. Take at least 30 day trips to see things in the area (2/30)
    Lame. I don't think we've done anything about this in recent months.
    1.) The Ellwood House
    2.) Mini golf course
  41. Visit the ocean
    Might well be an "after grad school" goal.
  42. Get a new passport
    Found my old one, which I thought was gone forever. So hooray!
  43. Go to Cedar Point
    I have a feeling that this will be on our list of places this summer to visit. It happens to be a half-way mark between our families.
  44. Go skiing at least once
    Dying to do this. It's not too late in the season yet...
  45. Visit every stop on the Metra Union Pacific West Line
    No progress here, yet. And there probably won't be until it's a bit warmer out.

    Education/Employment
  46. Get into graduate school
    Did not realize that a follow up to this was "get eaten by grad school for the next 2 years"
  47. Apply for graduate assistantship/ grant programs
    Still holding onto it!
  48. Finish graduate school
    1 semester down, 4 to go.
  49. Get a full time job in speech pathology
    Right, let's check back on this sometime after May 2011.
  50. Take one class for self – letterpress, calligraphy, digital design, photography, cooking
    Another thing on the "after grad school" list.
  51. Attend one conference or professional workshop
    Considering ISHA next year.
Money
  1. Continue debt free on my credit cards
    Still holding strong.

  2. Figure out a financial system with Doug
    We are working on it, but haven't really made a decision yet about what will be the best course of action.

  3. Save for a vacation
    Right, so in the travel area I talked about wanting to take such trips. But in order to do that, we need to get organized and actually save money. Hence the above goal. I thought this would be an excellent way to reward our organization.

  4. Keep money in ING account unspent
    Some of that money did go towards the house, and the rest remains there.

  5. Learn about investing by reading at least 2 books (1/2) and meeting with a financial adviser
    This is in progress.

  6. Plan for buying a house/condo within 2 years from end date. Goal includes determining where we want to buy, and how much of a down payment we’ll need.
    Done.

  7. Maintain John Houston Finely Society standing and star with Knox
    Half done. The star is there, but I think I'm out of the society. You have to give $100 more each year, and this year, it was too close to the closing to make that happen for me.

  8. Save at least 1/5th of each paycheck once I have a "real world" job
    First step: real world job

  9. Replace the Saturn
    Hasn't happened yet, but the car is still going. *knocks on wood*

  10. Buy a new computer
    Done! Well, sorta. I got Doug a new computer, which gave me his old desktop, which was an upgrade from mine. My laptop will probably need replacing in the next few years, but I'm hoping for it to make it through grad school.

  11. Start a retirement fund

  12. Make more in 2011 than I did in 2008, 2009 & 2010 combined
    Step 1 (again): get job.

  13. Create a living will
    This will require meeting with a lawyer.

Food

  1. Make at least 15 meals at home each week (this can include making lunch and breakfast for myself)
    So far, so good. Last semester, I went out for lunch twice on days when I was at the clinic (on average 4 days a week), and always had breakfast at home.

  2. Shop at local farmers market at least twice a month in appropriate weather
    I only got to go twice this year. Outrageous.

  3. Eat beef fewer than 5 times a month
    Doing pretty well with this, actually.

  4. Eat dinner with Doug at least one night a week
    It got a bit hairy during the semester (him: Hapkido M&W, Me: Class T&TH), but I think we managed to come together for a late dinner or early dinner at least once a week.

  5. Try at least 50 new, healthy recipes (25/50)
    I am constantly looking for new things to make, especially crockpot friendly recipes that are healthy. So far I've tried (all minus the mushrooms, if called for):
    1. Slow Cooker Italian Chicken
    2. Eggs Benedict on a Muffin with Garlic Alioi

    3. Spaghetti Carbonara
    4. Slow Cooker Salsa Chicken
    5. Chicken & Angelhair Pasta
    6. Kona Chicken
    7. Jerk Chicken with Cornbread
    8. Honey Mustard Roast Chicken
    9. Cheesy Chicken in the Crock
    10. Rosemary Garlic Chicken
    11. Chicken with Bacon, Mushrooms and Onions
    12. Southwest Chicken Stew
    13. Turkey Sloppy Joes
    14. Baked Mac & Cheese
    15. Taco Soup
    16. No Knead White Bread
    17. No Knead Whole Wheat Bread
    18. Apple Cheddar Quiche
    19. Cottage Cheese Filled Whole Wheat Crepes (instead of Ricotta)
    20. Veggie Loaded Penne with White Wine Sauce
    21. Smoky Chipotle Chili
    22. Rice & Corn Ckaes with Spicy Blackbeans
    23. Meatloaf Burgers
    24. Forget Me Not Cookies (thanks Ms. Domestic Darling!)
    25. Honey Glazed Sweet Potatoes & Chicken


  6. Have less than 15% of groceries be prepared foods (freezer meals, prepackaged sides, etc)
    I think I've been hanging in there on what I buy, but I'm not the only one that grocery shops in our house...

  7. Start an herb garden
    A plan for today(!) in fact. I have the seeds for Rosemary, basil (although my plant from over the summer is still going strong), parsley (lost to frost), chives, dill, oregano, and tarragon.

  8. Make Sangria
    Done at least 3 times this summer, and met with great success!

  9. Try 3 new cooking techniques (poaching, braising, etc) (2/3)
    I poached an egg to make my eggs benedict, and braised meat before crocking it.

  10. Start a real garden, growing at least 3 different types of veggies
    A spring project is to fill in the large hole we have in the backyard and plant a garden.

  11. Try at least 5 new foods
    I can't think of anything new I've tried off the top of my head...

Home

  1. Vacuum floor at least once every 2 weeks
    So far, so good.

  2. Change bed sheets once a week
    So far, so good.

  3. Brush cat once a week
    We're probably doing once every 2-3 weeks at this point, which is OK, but probably not great, judging by the amount of hair she leaves in her wake.

  4. Take cat to annual checkup (1/2)
    Next one in July.

  5. Buy & decorate a Christmas tree
    Not this year, but hopefully next. In preparation, I got a tree-stand and some generic ornaments at clearance sales this year.

  6. Keep clothes off bedroom floor for 30 days (0/30)

  7. Frame at least one thing I made (photograph, cross stitch, art piece, etc)
    This would involve finishing something to frame.

  8. Get a real futon frame
    Done! The fouton currently has a home in Doug's office.

  9. Figure out how to participate in Sycamore's recycling program, even if my apartment complex doesn't.
    Done. We recycle weekly.

  10. Get a real entertainment center.
    I've decided to call this done. We bought something from IKEA that is considered a TV stand.

  11. Buy a bed
    Still got the bed frame, but the search continues for something with a headboard.

Other

  1. Take a picture a day for a month (0/30)
    One of those things I've wanted to do to recognize that there are little things every day worth noticing.

  2. Blog every day for a month
    Clearly this has not happened.

  3. Watch at least 1 Netflix DVD a week, or cancel account
    This got very bad. We had our DVDs from October until December. Trying to make up for it now.

  4. Spend all the gift cards I currently have (Barnes & Noble, Amazon, WaMu, Target, iTunes)
    In progress.

  5. Calculate carbon footprint.
    I read Radical Simplicity a few months back, and got very interested.

  6. Reduce by 15%.
    Need to do #91 first

  7. Donate blood twice a year (0/6)
    Need to step that up.

  8. Take a dance class
    Might have to wait until after school.

  9. Donate any books I no longer need
    Done, but I consider this on-going. I donated about 12 books to a student program in March. I'm sure Doug and I could go through our collection and remove about 20 duplicates...mostly college texts.

  10. Buy a sewing machine
    I still think I should own one. And I have an extra room to put it in!

  11. Buy a shredder.
    Again, something I think I should have. And use.

  12. Read at least 25 books I've never read before (30/25)
    I was sort of lax on the number, and have clearly surpassed that, even with school. Hooray!
    1. Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs
    2. A Wolf at the Table: A Memoir of my Father by Augusten Burroughs
    3. One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding by Rebecca Mead
    4. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling
    5. My Stroke of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor
    6. The Kid: What Happened When My Boyfriend and I Decided to get Pregnant by Dan Savage
    7. A Mind of My Own: A memoir of recovery from Aphasia by Harianne Mills
    8.
    Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell
    9. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
    10.
    Commencement: A Novel by Courtney J. Sullivan
    11
    . Matrimony: A Novel by Joshua Henkin
    12. Food, Girls, and Other Things I Can't Have by Allen Zadoff
    13. She Went All The Way by Meggin Cabbot
    14.
    The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Maryann Shaffer
    15. Unequal Childhoods by Annette Lareau
    16. Two Truths and a Lie by Katrina Kittle
    17. Apologizing to Dogs by Joe Coomer
    18. The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein
    19. Asta in the Wings by Jan Elizabeth Watson
    20. Belong to Me: A Novel by Marisa De Los Santos
    21. The Servants' Quarters by Lynn Freed
    22. Take off Your Shirt and Cry: A Memoir of Near Fame Experiences by Nancy Balbirer
    23. I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to be your Class President by Josh Leib
    24. Metalheads: A Novel by Time Maremaa
    25. Miss Harper Can Do it by Jane Berenston
    26. Love or Something Like It: A Novel by Deirdre Shaw
    27. The Girl She Used to Be by David Cristofano
    28. How to Cheat at Gardening and Yardwork by Jeff Bredenberg
    29. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
    30.
    I Do but I Don’t: Walking Down the Aisle without Losing Your Mind by Cami Wicoff

  13. Reread 5 books I read in high school (1/5)
    I was talking to someone about this: I remember certain things from books I read in high school, but not enough to make me confident that I could answer questions on Jeopardy! about them. Some of the ones I want to reread include The Stranger, 1984, The Great Gatsby, Animal Farm, and The Lord of the Flies. If I were feeling particularly masochistic, I guess I'd give Beowulf another shot as well. And maybe The Picture of Dorian Gray. Couldn't stand that one at the time. I think I would "get" them more today. Or at least I'd like to try.
    So far I've read:
    1. Animal Farm by George Orwell

  14. Clean out my closet. Donate unwanted items
    I've been trying to keep on top of this, but you can always do more, right?

  15. Attend 5 year college reunion
    Can't happen until 2011.