Moms say the darndest things

Recently, I was talking to my mom about the very likely possibility that we would be hosting our first big get party at our house. My mother asked if she could make one suggestion as a project before the gathering. I thought she would suggest new carpeting (which *does* need to happen eventually) or figuring out a solution for our current breakfast bar (also needs to happen), or even replacing our entertainment center (which I thought *for sure* she'd mention, because we have an extra one that she LOVES in our livingroom). But as is my mother's tendency, she surprised me.

"You have a towel ring in your downstairs bathroom," she began, "but I think you should add a towel rack. I mean, asking 40 people to use the same towel...it's just not nice."

Because these are the details that keep my mother awake at night. And make me laugh for a solid 2 minutes afterwards. Because I might have already considered it. Except, in my version, paper guest towels seemed to be a faster choice.

Meet Penny!

This is Penny.
She is the newest member of our family.
She is almost 4 years old, and appears to be a lab/shepard mix with maybe something a little smaller, because she's 46lbs at her full grown weight.
Originally, she was found as a stray. She was adopted by a family, and then returned to the shelter, where she has been living since October.
We brought her home yesterday, after visiting both a no-kill shelter and a kill shelter. She came from the kill shelter, which was more due to the fact that she seems to be a good fit in what we are looking for in a dog than because we actively wanted to adopt from the kill-shelter.
But it does feel pretty good to know that we saved one animal. Take that, Sarah McLachlan.
So far, Ariadne (our cat) is coping pretty well. Penny leaves her alone, until Ariadne enters her space. Then Penny thinks she's fair game.
It's a sentiment that Ariadne does not share. It has yet to come to drawing blood, but Ariadne has made her fair share of retreats in the last 24 hours.
Although, since discovering Penny's kryptonite (any flooring that is not carpeting), Ariadne has gained an upperhand, for now.
She also appeared pleased to find that we are not allowing Penny on the bed. At least, that's the interpretation I gathered as Ariadne paraded by my head multiple times during the night.

Right now they are both asleep, in the sunlight (Ariadne in her spot on the couch, Penny on the floor).

They might have more in common than they thought.

You have stolen my heart

Recently, we've been working on the PREPARE/ENRICH premarital counseling program. The premise is that by you and your partner answering a really really long questionnaire about your views on marriage, your relationship, life choices like kids, careers, etc., and other stuff that I'm sure is pertinent somehow, they can identify strengths of the relationship and “areas to work on”. We scored pretty high in a few areas, but one of our “areas to work on” happens to be our marriage expectations. Funny when you consider that we are both voluntarily attending premarital counseling to evaluate our relationship.

We've yet to delve into it with our counselor, but the best we can figure is this: there were a number of questions on the evaluation that asked you how much you agree with statements like, “my partner is the only one for me” or “my partner is my soulmate”. Immediately after taking the evaluation, we both asked how the other person answered. Of course, we both interpreted the question differently, and thus, answered differently. Because if you don't actually believe in soulmates (which, I don't), you come off sounding like you are either a) dissatisfied and waiting for something better b) polyamorous. Neither of which are labels that apply to me.

The fact is, I don't believe in soulmates. There are 6.9 BILLION people in the world. The idea that there is one person out there that is your other half? Well, it seems to me to be really crappy odds. And does finding the missing piece to your soul mean you don't have to work at the relationship? Because to me, that seems like a trap that would be really inviting to fall into.

In order to believe in soulmates, one has to put a lot of faith in fate. And I am too much of a type A personality to ever consider that the amount of time and effort it takes me to mull over decisions is for naught, and that some cosmic force already made the decision for me.

Basically, I am too much of a control freak to believe that my decisions don't matter.

Here's the thing: I believe that life is a series of choices. We make choices everyday (some big, some small) that have varying degrees of effects on our lives. Some of the effects are huge: my senior year, my drama teacher chose to make our field trip to the college fair at the World Trade Center an evening trip, and we missed the attacks by six hours. I chose to take a job one summer at home from college that shaped my current career path. And some are small, like the fact that I chose to sit on my bum when I got home from work tonight, and now have to stay up to wait for the laundry to finish.

The fact is, if either Doug or I had chosen a different school, we probably would have never met. And had we never met, I doubt either of us would now be pining for their “missing half”. Because I believe that all relationships take work, and if you happen to click with someone, there's a good chance the relationship can be successful if you put the work in. Pragmatic? Perhaps. But the point is, that we are both relatively normal, and have a lot to offer. So there is a good chance that we would be leading separate lives, with other significant others, and maybe we'd be in the same career fields and on the same kind of path, and maybe our other partners would be just like us, or maybe they wouldn't.

Now, here's where the interpretation of the question comes into play. I automatically prickle when I hear people talk about soulmates. Honestly, it makes them seem naïve to me. So when I answered questions about that, I strongly disagreed, because no, I don't believe there is only ONE person out there for each of us. HOWEVER, I don't spend my time wondering if he's “the one” for me, and I have no doubts that we can and make our marriage successful. I really wished there was an “other” option for some of the questions.

Doug saw the questions for probably more what they were, so he said that yes, he strongly agreed that I was the only one for him. The sentiment for both of us is the same, but boy, did I make us look bad on paper.

You know we'll have a good time then

Pending the completion of both internships, I will be an SLP this summer. My last exam results came back today, and I passed the last of my hoop-jumping certification/licensure exams.

It means that I got through my 2 year graduate program without having to do one remediation project (a feat because any project/assignment/quiz/exam you took in the actual program and scored below an 80 on meant completing a second project to prove you understood the material) or retake any exam (which means a few hundred bucks and hours of my time that I didn't have to part with again).

I should maybe celebrate, or feel relieved, or something. But, as was the case with the past 2 years, by the time you realize you have something to celebrate, you are already up to your eyeballs in the next all consuming part of your life.

One day, I'll need to remember to learn how to re-align my thinking to not be about the next big hurdle, but to be about the here and now. Because it's really disenchanting to constantly be living for "in the future, when...".

But that learning will have to take place after my internships are over. Because they're already the hurdle being tackled.

I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs

I've started about five other blog entries in recent months, but have yet to actually push publish. I often have grandiose ideas, but halfway through articulating them, I either decide that they are never going to be finished, or delve into something that I don't really want to go into. So they remain drafts.

But here is something short, sweet, and worth a laugh, at least to me.

The latest wedding-related planning we've done is choosing processional and recessional music. Do we have a DJ and/or sound system on which to play these things? Well, no. But that's not the point.

The point is, I had 3 ideals in my head:
1. Avoid cliche (This includes the 4 CDs worth of music my mom lent us for "inspiration", with such album titles as "A Day to Remember" and "Heartbeats, Now and Forever")
2. It would be instrumental
3. The lyrics would, although not heard, actually be appropriate should people recognize the song.

This has led us to spending a lot of time with the Vitamin String Quartet Discography. At one point in the process, Doug had queued up a bunch of options for us to give a listen to.

One song was Yellowcard's Gifts and Curses, which, while a pretty song with a rather pronounced storyline, refrains to the following:
I see your face with every punch I take,
and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
still I will always fight on for you.

Ahem. Not entirely the message I was hoping to convey. Especially because the storyline is Spiderman loving MJ, but has to, you know, put saving the world every day over personal relationships. Right.

Moving on to batter #2, REM's The One I Love.
First line:
This one goes out to the one I love
Looking good, right?
This one goes out to the one I've left behind
Dammit. Always foiled by line #2.

In the end, we found a song for the bridal party to walk to, a song for the bride to walk to, and a recessional. One is still a song inspired by Spiderman. Probably only one song will be recognized by the majority of the guests, but that's OK too.

Now, you know, on to figuring out how everyone *else* will hear the songs we've chosen at the actual wedding...